Slagsmålsklubben interview

Last week, Slagsmålsklubben played in the Handelsbeurs in Ghent supporting The Whitest Boy Alive. They only arrived fifteen minutes before they had to get on stage, but by throwing candy and sugarcoated beats at us they managed to pull off an excellent set. They were scheduled for another gig later that night, so when the Handelsbeurs served them their well-deserved meal, we served them a couple of questions…

Let’s introduce SMK in 5 words first:
Kim: We only need three: Swedish. Modern. Keyboard.

You profile yourselves as Swedish, but there’s a note your Myspace profile that says you won’t be doing any sets in Sweden. What’s the explanation behind this?
Beebop: At the moment we don’t do normal touring as in the club circuit, we do some festivals in the summer.
Björn: We’re too cool to play in Sweden.
Beebop: And we’ve been touring in Sweden for eight years. To break through in Europe takes so much time so we don’t have the energy to do a tour at home as well.

You’ve recently toured in the UK with English bands like Late of the Pier and Video Nasties. Do you reckon that’ll help you to get closer to your breakthrough in Europe?
Kim: Maybe, but they have someone who organizes everything for them. They only have to focus on their music. And live. It would be easier if we would have someone helping us along the way, but we have to do it all by ourselves.
Do you think it’ll give more satisfaction when you’ve made it all by yourselves?
Björn: That’s it… We probably won’t get to the top because of thát. (laughter)

Tonight you played for an atypical audience that was waiting for the Whitest Boy Alive. How do you handle those sets?
Kim: I don’t think anyone had heard of us yet. I also think our music should be played at night, it’s still light outside now.
Beebop: We’re a midnight band. But yes, the first time in a new country you never know.
Björn: Belgium isn’t as bad as we thought though.
Kim: We always thought it was the worst country in the world. All evil comes from Belgium. Like the pedophiles, Jean-Claude Van Damme, the European Union. You raped Congo from all the diamonds, sweetened them with blood.
But that wasn’t an act supported by the Belgians; it was conducted by the king and his retinue!
Kim: That’s what you say now, like the Germans said it was only Hitler but they all stood and watched when it happened.

The audience didn’t seem to be evil-minded tonight. The reactions were very positive; some even dropped the word magic. The only downside seemed to be your name. People referred to you as “the band with the name that sounded something like saxophone”.
(laughter)
Hannes: That’s why we introduce ourselves as SMK outside Sweden, but people try to say Slagsmålsklubben anyway.

What are the future plans for SMK?
Kim: we’ll be playing in Hasselt within a couple of hours.
Beebop: We want to be the first band to play underwater
Björn: …in the first underwater city
Kim: and in outer space

But didn’t Katie Melua already play under water?
Kim (looking rather shocked): What? But we don’t know about that. Please don’t tell us.
Beebop: Feed us with lies.
Björn: but the first band to play in space is pretty cool as well. I don’t think anyone has done that before, maybe played the harmonica a bit.
Kim: Beatles songs have already been sent into space so the aliens would know about earth, but we would perform for them.

What are your biggest influences? Life outer space?
Kim: Aliens aren’t really a big influence, under water life on the other hand: crabs, submarines, starfish…
Björn: dolphins…
Kim: … coral reef.

And videogames?
Björn: not really, Beebop is the only one who plays video games. He’s in fact addicted to World Of Warcraft.
Beebop: I’m addicted to any game. I do all the gaming for the band.
Björn: but we do have a Wii in our van.
Kim: I only play video games when I don’t want to be inspired. When I get too many impressions I play a video game. Not inspiration, but recreation.

How is the food on tour?
Hannes: Very different.
Kim: Sometimes shit.
Hannes: In Italy it’s very good. In Switzerland it was…
Beebop: …we didn’t have any. We had bread, cheese and salad but we didn’t have time to eat it.
Kim: In Sweden and in Norway it’s always kind of crappy. Sometimes they only give you one vegetable.
Beebop: England was the worst. They gave us a sandwich and a candy bar in a plastic bag. We would have been travelling for a whole day and get nothing more than a crappy sandwich.

If the food isn’t any good, what gives you the energy to play two sets and travel all day long?
Kim: our friendship
Beebop: … and beer
Beebop: we read books, play on our Wii and listen to radio documentaries.
Kim: we sit all day in the car and don’t do anything for eight hours, so it isn’t that much of an effort to go out and perform.

Does spending that much time with each other in a small van lead to tension?
Kim: We simply pretend to be by ourselves. We only talk to each other when we’re drunk.
Björn: Almost true, because we’re always drunk.
When the main course arrived (schnitzels and veggie lasagna) we presented them some spicy questions from our readers.

If someone offered you a lot of money to play in a metal band, would you do it?
Beebop: yeah of course. I used to play in a metal band. If someone thought that we were good enough to play in a metal band, we would definitely do it.

Are Late Of The Pier as cool as they look?
Björn: I think they’re cooler than they look actually. Faley at least. And Potter as well…
Beebop: …Potter is crazier than he looks.

What’s your favourite band to support?
Kim: We’ve only toured with one band. Late of the pier. We thought we would be the only support act, and then Video Nasties came along and because they have the same manager as Late Of The Pier they became the main support act, which was a major disappointment. Never mind about that, it was still great though.

(picture by Marjolein Hoornaert)

Onto the Crazy Questions Round then…
What’s the most disgusting thing that somebody in the band did?
Björn: I ate Frej’s puke on a pizza once at a festival, when I was very drunk. And then I had to vomit myself.

The next question would’ve been ‘which member of the band deserves a statue’ but I assume it will be Björn.
Björn: Yes exactly. I also pissed into the mouth of one of my best friends, when he was really drunk.

What’s the first thing you would build on the moon?
Joni: a bowling alley.

What’s your favorite place in the universe – outside Sweden?
Kim: Right now it’s the Alps, we’ve just been there for the first time.
Björn: my sofa is my favorite place.
Kim: our car broke down in the Alps, but we didn’t care because it was so beautiful.

If there were people living beyond this universe, what would they eat?
Kim: People live outside this universe?! Well, bugs, clothes, … It depends on what kind of creature it is. If I would live outside the universe I would eat trousers.

You get one bullet, who do you shoot?
Kim: Beebop.
Björn: I’d shoot Kim. (Kim waves his hands in the air, not looking very intimidated)
Björn: I would shoot Oprah Winfrey. What did she do wrong? Everything. She’s a big mistake.

Who is the most desirable woman on earth?
Björn: My girlfriend.
Kim: yes, let’s all agree, Björn’s girlfriend.

Björn’s girlfriend or world peace?
Kim: I would say world peace, but that sounds gay, but saying Björn’s girlfriend would also sound gay… in a non-gay way. (pause) I think I’ll stick to world peace.

Get your ticket for the UK dates (touring with Hadouken!) and give the boys some proper food on china plates please.

…and send Hermine some candy because she’s way too cool to be my companion.